Finally it was hate filled up my unfortunate heart. The terrible sadness took such possession of me, that my great love for god and the godly became a haven which only an intentional good for one's own kind consoled!
How many times did I retaliate? Ô how often did I refuse to listen to the god in me saying :
despise the lower ones
my child
my lost boy in an evil mirth
mocking light
& Love.
But my christian conceit was such that I did abide, like an asshole in pig's mud. Letting them rape and slay what I loved with all my tempestuous bosom. Filled with wrath and hate; but in the end sinking in a quagmire where pity is lost on those who whimper, cheat and corrupt what's left of heaven's shadows on earth! I did concede, defeated.
God said, lift thyself up
my son my pretty child,
misled to
earth's dirt and rot
below.
It's me your 1st nature
forgotten
here within principalities
high above hidden in the air
where men breathe
yet cannot see.
For the life of me
what wouldn't I give
to die in my fairy's arms,
a good and honest lad.
True, men are liars, thieves, mechanized and programmed robots from birth to death, they'll never know! How close they were to the Son of Man, but slept like hogs in a filthy brothel. Working in the week for nothing. Sleeping in the night like rusted black beetles useless on their backs and wet, in the weeds., turning into dreams where thoughts enquire far from swallows toward morning glories.
But hate has filled me with its tremendous evil blackness. My love frothing still in spite of night, in secret corridors underneath the earth's crust. I hate so much what is poor & filthy in its indecent spiritually perverted anatomy. I hate the stupid unconscious lot weaving uselessly, unkempt and unaware bewitched in that tremendous lie and all the hideous hypocritical meanness that goes along!
My heart is dark. A raven singing that doesn't exist, in a grotto, a soft organic mammal sheath deteriorating till the waves drown me within immortality. Is evil an unimpeachable principle swaying goodness to overshadow evil?
What is it, when god seeks
in clay
what he put there from
the start?
Is it truth to live by,
or the Will should conquer
whatever be;
that's truth it seems to me
even when thru lies
it lives to be.
Be god then.
Where ever wandering is
to be sure, there's fatigue
& moreover, getting lost
is part of it;
if not, you wouldn't dream of it
a haven for brave
and good men,
in a land
we call Asgard.
Making it to be.
